Interdependent or Independent?

As mentioned in a former post, independency, despite various benefits, is prone to be ruined by some side-effects such as selfishness and isolation. To explain the solution to overcome such drawbacks, let’s rephrase the question in the previous post: How can we substitute lousy 2-way Black & White solutions such as: “Either stay on own to keep the independency, or compromise the independency for the sake of interactions” with a profound one as the third solution: “Keep the independency, AND get involved in highly demanding interactions”?

Steven Covey suggests that an entity (person, company, country, etc.) matures in two steps: 1) from dependence to independence, and 2) from independence to interdependence. We’re mostly familiar with independence, but what about interdependence?

Interdependence, deeply rooted in “mutual” respect and trust, is required for all interactions between independent entities. It’s the hybrid of dependence and independence. I see it as the art of uniting paradoxes; a subtle merge to include the benefits of dependence and exclude the disadvantages of independence. In business jargon, it’s the win-win result: Benefit from the synergy among independent entities without the need of compromising their independencies. For analytical minds, dependency relations between two entities can be symbolized as 1+1 is less than 2; independency as 1+1 equals 2; and interdependency as 1+1 is greater than 2.

How can interdependence be achieved? I think that the self-awareness attained during the process of achieving a “real” independence guarantees the flow of interdependence afterwards. Real independence occurs inside while phony independence is more or less a facade. The two types can also be differentiated based on their underlying motives. More egoistic motives involved, the less real the independence is. The nature of egoistic desires can be summarized as: “prove” myself or others that “I am right”: I need nobody to either manage my life or get me what I want.

Egoistic desires are very strong motives to lead us towards external independence, but they are impotent to make us independent from inside. In addition, the fascination of the phony independence avoids us to proceed towards interdependence.